Where do you start when you have just watch the most perfect movie of your life?
- Movies like art are highly subjective
- Movies like books have to come to you at the right time
- Movies like fine wine should grow on you as days and years pass
It has been just 2 week since I watched this movie and it’s still lingering in some of the deepest recesses of my mind.
Why does a movie feel like it was made just for you at this point of time in your life? My mother used to say something similar after we watched any movie; She would say this movie was exactly made for our family. Back then, I would brush it aside comparing this to her regular made up stories, she would keep saying us on regular intervals. But this movie, helped me understand why my mom or anyone would feel like a movie was made just for them
Upon watching this movie, my respect for artists has grown up by several notches. As Alain de Botton (the man who has influenced me the most till date) says, the purpose of art is to express that which cannot be expressed. This movie was so remarkable it spoke to me on so many levels.
How do filmmakers perfectly capture the essence of a man who has issues with time, suicidal thoughts, guilt, a habit of victimizing himself, a love for teaching, a passion for writing, looks absolutely normal to the world outside and ultimately kills himself?
How do filmmakers learn to build a female protagonist who has the right amount of self-awareness, self-esteem, and tons of emotional resilience and a great understanding of her responsibilities to her own ambitions and to her family?
How do filmmakers so beautifully show us how to decide when there is no way of knowing what will work or be good for us? How do they write scenes and dialogues that are a masterclass in taking decisions when there is no proof or evidence? And ultimately, how do they convince the audience that this is the best way to go about making decisions in such complicated scenarios?
At its core, this movie is about a 40 year old Professor/wannabe writer who suffers from serious mental health issues (ADHD + Depression) and his wife who in spite of knowing her husband’s challenges continues to love him and figures out a way to remain happy with her life without blaming herself or her family for it. It also talks about the confused feelings of a boy who grows up in a home that has both love and war, where his loving father is so confused, and his resilient and achieving mother is a bit too distant with him.
The movie lays bare the difficulties involved in sustaining long term relationships and how a lack of awareness of mental health issues can derail lives and families. Even while projecting a very “normal” picture to the outside world, the inner truths of our lives and families can be so hard to bear and live with. These facades we erect can contradict our inner worlds so much that giving up is not just an option but a logical next step.
While the characterization of the female protagonist sounded a bit too good to be true, I have come to realize that there are humans amongst us who can rise to greater levels of self awareness and resilience that they can bare any discomfort and remain stoic about everything that life throws at them. People like these give me hope and inspiration.
In giving us a movie in which the lead characters reflect both parts of our inner selves (current vs aspiring selves), the makers of the movie have drawn attention to the inherent hardship that lies at the heart of every relationship and how with greater awareness and resilience we can all not just live, but also thrive.
Thank you Justin Triet and Arthur Harari,
For giving us one of the finest movies of this decade!
