A die-hard fan’s letter of love and gratitude to the OG of Tamil Indie Music!
Prologue:
நான் பேசி (எழுதி) என்னவாகும் என்று
கையை கட்டி நின்றதும் (சும்மா இருந்ததும்) உண்டு
ஆனால் மிஞ்சிப் போனால் மரணம் என்ற போது
வாழ்க்கை வாழ (கேபர் பற்றி எழுத) வெக்கப்படலாமா
என்னை நானே மறுத்துக்கொன்டே
மரணம் வரை போகலாமா (ஊர்வலம் முடிந்தும் சும்மா இருக்கலாமா) [from KV’s Nee Vekkam Kori]
Hmm, after mulling over the ideal start for this article for a month, I got this while listening to Kaber’s TedX talk “An Unconditional Apology for My Creativity” for the 3rd time yesterday.
While for someone like Kaber who has an amazing superpower to confine all of life’s philosophy into just 4 lines, (just sample these below lines):
பசியில் வாடும் மனிதன், உணவை கண்டு ஓட
ருசியை சுவைத்த மனிதன், இன்பம் அனைத்தும் நாட
இன்பம் கண்ட மனிதன், அர்த்தம் எண்ணி ஏங்க
அர்த்தம் புரிந்த மனிதன், அமைதியாக அமர
உண்மையிலே உன்மேலே வாழ்க்கை ஒரு கேலி, கேலிகேலி [from KV’s Ilakanam Idayae (Retro)]
for a diehard fan like me, it’s unimaginable. I can’t make my point without explaining myself in a 1720 word long-form essay
P.S – Given my neurodivergence (aka condition), I get so easily overwhelmed by the flood of thoughts and connections that come to my head every minute I think anything about him, his songs, and “The Oorvalam” (which I loved every second of). This is also why, in the 5 minutes i had during the meet and greet session after the concert, i couldn’t pick what to say from the million things that kept coming to the forefront of my brain and mouth. Yeah, Kaber has lyrics for this too!
வாயி ஒன்னு பேச பேச (மூல ஆயிரம் சொல்ல சொல்லும்)
கையி வேற ஒன்ன பண்ணும் (வாயி வேற ஒன்ன பண்ணும்) [from KV’s Manitha Subhavam]
சில பேருக்கு நாக்குல கோளாறு, பேசணுன்னே பேசணுன்னே பேசிக்கிட்டே இருப்பான் (at times this is not me, its the fucking dopamine) [from KV’s Mugamoodi]
For the uninitiated, who don’t know who Kaber Vasuki is, here is a well written introductory primer by Sanjana Ganesh on the Hindu.
This one, on the other hand, is for the die-hard fans of Kaber Vasuki and for the OG himself.
- The ones like the young Chennai woman who hugged him, cried, and told him she would speak to him next time after his concert. (I almost did the same, except instead of speaking next time, I chose to write this article)
- For fans like Arshad, who have been listening to him for 7+ years, who ranks in the top 5-10% of KV listeners on Spotify, and created his own Kurangan Era T-shirt.
Why do I want to write this?
Kevin Kelly, one of the most intelligent humans alive today has this wonderful article titled 1000 true fans. Taking inspiration from this, if Kaber had to take all his fans and rank them by their love for him, I for sure can confidently say I would be in the top 10. The reason I will be in the top 10 and not No.1 is because, until last year, I was unaware of my neurodivergence, a condition exacerbated in the digital age of constant connectivity and smartphones. This previously undiagnosed aspect of my life had made it challenging to maintain sustained interest in pursuits over long periods. I have to explain this a bit further (without giving away a lot) – this condition is best summarized by one of the leading writers who has this condition in his phenomenal autobiography:
“People with this condition are troubled souls for whom reality is harsh, so harsh that their mind has to be fragmented to fragment the pain it has been going through”.
Kaber also has summarized the symptoms of this condition in some of his most memorable lines and reels:
சிந்தனைக்கும் செயலுக்கும் நடுவே
காலம் கடல் போல் கிடக்கு
அதில் நீந்த தானே நேரமே இல்லை நமக்கு (from KV’s Vasanam)
Unfortunately for people with this condition, their brain is conditioned to keep thinking forever which prevents them from doing anything. This eye-opening discovery in August 2023 and the subsequent treatment have transformed my life. I can now engage more deeply with Kaber’s music, attend his concerts, and most importantly, possess the perseverance and tenacity to sit down and write this article.
Upon receiving my diagnosis, the first thing that struck me was how closely I resonated with these lyrics, epitomizing the primary symptom of this condition. The leading scientific researcher, with over 30 years of study in this field, states the following: “This is not a disorder of knowing what to do, it’s a disorder of doing what you know — at the right times and places“.
Hence, this blog is a humble attempt to express how much his work and concert have impacted me till date and if possible to take his work to more people!
Who is Kaber Vasuki to me?
As the title says, Kaber is all the below things in no specific order:
1) My Mirror (eg: Vasanam, Mugamoodi, Naan Enna Muttala)
2) Soul therapist (eg: Manusan, Manidha Subhavam, Nee Vekkam Kori)
3) Philosopher friend (eg: David Foster Wallace, Vilangu, Ilakanam Idayae, + almost all his songs)
4) Writer/Indie Musician/Creative Inspiration (eg: Rockstar, Manda Mannan Kaviyam)
- “Kaber’s songs are a balm for my soul, echoing thoughts from the deepest recesses of my mind with beautiful, effortless precision. Alain de Botton (one of my other heroes in life), argues that the ultimate purpose of art is to articulate feelings that are otherwise inexpressible. For me, every song by Kaber exemplifies this pure art, serving as a vital coping mechanism alongside my favorite bedside book and meditation app.
- For a long time, the concept of unconditional admiration for cultural heroes eluded me. As a staunch fan of Kamal Hassan and Yuval Noah Harari, I viewed the adulation for movie stars and music icons as simple narratives for the masses to grasp or cling on to (the so-called shortcuts that help them escape the unbearable challenges that life throws at each one of us). The idea of TIME magazine naming Taylor Swift as the person of the year 2023, during a tumultuous time globally, or a new movie about Bob Marley being made in 2024, seemed incomprehensible.
- Yet, after immersing myself in Kaber’s music, I now understand the essence of being a die-hard fan. (That TIME’s jury at least one Taylor Swift fan in it!)
- Growing up in a tier 2 town in Tamil Nadu, with AR Rahman and Ilayaraja as my only musical references, I believed music was made only for movies, not for personal resonance. My high-class friends’ affinity for English albums seemed ever distant, since I struggled to grasp even a fraction of the lyrics without full concentration
- However, my experience changed dramatically with ‘Kurangan’ and his other songs. Repeated listening made the music grow on me, illustrating how passion deepens with time and effort and taught me my biggest lesson of 2023 – passion is not an input metric, it is an output metric.
I could say more, but for now, I’ll pause here.
The Concert:
Just having watched Dickinson, a TV series about one of America’s most revered poets, wherein there is an episode about how she loses respect for her long-time hero Henry David Thoureau after meeting him in person, i was a bit skeptical if Kaber would live up to the sky-high expectations I had for him.
Thankfully for me, he was everything I expected him to be and even more. All the songs he sang during the concert, Big Sam’s reverberating guitar, and the cute contextual and profound stories that filled the gap between the songs (and ranged from the Big Bang to philosophy to Zen-type stories) – it was all I could ask for and more.
Just when I parked my bike, I saw Arshad standing with his custom-made Kurangan T-shirt reading Varigal – 1 book. It was to meet people like him and the OG himself that i was so excited. Amid our busy careers and personal lives, this was a great opportunity to find like-minded humans who resonate with my worldview and love for Kaber’s songs.
Starting with Vilangu and ending with Rockstar, along with that lovely story about the வரம் we all have been endowed with by the universe, it had so many memories that can last until the next Kaber concert tour.
My voice is almost out and I can’t stop listening to his songs now. They all have a new dimension after the concert and meeting the OG.
Reflecting on all of this above, only this wonderful quote from Dead Poet’s Society comes to my mind now:
“We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.”
Thank you Kaber, for giving us something to stay alive for and for helping us not lose hope in life and humanity!
Call To Action & Recommendations:
For Kaber:
As always, thank you for giving me so much with your வரங்கள் & வலிகள். எனக்கும் (எங்களுக்கும்) உங்கள ரொம்ப ரொம்ப பிடிக்கும்.
A humble request – if possible! I (We) would love your future songs to continue to reflect:
- The melancholy of life and the mundanity of excellence (thank you for sticking through with indie music since 2008 – i know it was miserable and you wouldn’t wish it even on your worst enemies, but it has given so much hope to folks like me who are just starting out on our journeys; you are our absolute north star)
- Fatherhood and how love and marriage evolve with time (even with the same person)
- More and more practical philosophy relevant to our times (the stoic masters, the buddha, and alain de botton)
For his diehard fans:
- Guys – we need a WhatsApp + Discord / Subreddit to talk all things Kaber – are you all in? (pls comment with your thoughts on this article and your platform of choice and i can get the ball rolling here)
- We can congregate on joint music listening sessions on platforms like the Lishash app
- We can just hang out whenever we have the time, I’m sure we will all definitely have lots of things to talk about! Kaber and beyond!
Recommendations for Kaber and his fans (his songs and the concert have given me so much, i feel it equivalent to blasphemy to not give back):
- The School of Life Youtube + Book
- The Ecstacy of Wilko Johnson
- The Waking Up App
நானும் ஒரு வீரன் தான்
வார்த்தைகள் என் கோள்
அமர்ந்த இடத்தில் இருந்தே
புரட்சி துவப்பேன்
என் முகம் கொண்ட கொடிகள்
ஊரில் நடுவேன்!!! (from KV’s Manda Mannan Kaviyam)
With love & gratitude,
The Attention Curious Stoic
