Part 2 – What am I grateful for?

Having written daily gratitude journals since December 2020, I understand that I don’t need great things to happen to feel grateful. Simple acts of kindness, having the freedom to learn and be a better version of myself every day, and being able to have a roof over my head are enough for me to be grateful. This article is an attempt to call out the small things that I am grateful for in my life.

So, here is what I feel grateful for (nowadays):

  1. Resources & People – First, I am grateful to have access to a range of online resources and people who I can learn from. Some of these have been quite transformative. Below are a few examples (from my recent past):
    • The suggestion to look at how fulfilled our lives are from 4 different perspectives (Health, Wealth, Hobbies, Relationships) has helped me a lot (This comes from the book Designing Your Life). Earlier, I used to over index on either of these and would constantly worry about not doing enough in other areas. Now, I constantly think about these different components and try to strike a balance.
    • Another key lesson comes from my consulting case interview preparation. It has taught me how important it is to think and communicate with a clear structure. Structured thinking via frameworks is quite helpful for everything in life, not just case interviews (ex: structuring this blog, deciding to buy toys for a newborn, researching for purchasing a new AC etc.,)
  2. Health
    • Physical – As someone said, “you realize the value of something, only when you don’t have it”. 2021 was the year I had surgery for my colorectal disorder (chronic anal fissure) after battling with the condition for >10 months. During this time, I couldn’t eat stuff that I wanted, do any workouts and had to dread passing stool. Post-surgery, I am completely back to normal, and now I understand how grateful I should be for being able to do anything with my body.
    • Mental – Until recently, it has never crossed my mind that I might be suffering from anxiety or carrying remnants of childhood trauma even now. Reading up about these disorders and introspecting about my own self, I wonder what took me so long to realize this. Acknowledging that you have a problem is the first and most crucial step in resolving it. I’m glad to have taken the 1st step already, thanks to the book Overcoming Anxiety, The School of Life Website, and my meditation and journaling habits
  3. Wealth
    • After almost 8 years in the workforce, I have come to a realizaion that the job I do should meet the following criteria
      • Pay the bills and save for future needs
      • Help me learn and stay relevant (develop the necessary skills/expertise) in the job market
      • Positively impact humanity ( especially in the domains of health / education – because these are industries were multiplier effects of good deeds are much higher, IMO and I can contribute effectively given my past experience)
    • While its difficult for any job to fulfill all these criteria every day, I am grateful to have a job that ticks all these boxes on most of the days
    • Apart from this, the job also gives me my weekends off, so that’s another attribute I am grateful for (having worked 6-day weeks in my first job, I understand the benefits of having a Saturday off)
  4. Hobbies, Leisure & Daily Practices
    • I am glad first of all to be able to think about hobbies and leisure/interests in the first place. The key distinction between both of them is the requirement of a physical action for a hobby, while that’s not necessary for an interest
    • Hobbies – I’m grateful to have the time and energy to pursue 2 different hobbies – blog writing and muscle building by strength training.
    • Interests – Philosophy, Psychology, Books (esp. non-fiction), Magazines, Podcasts, Movies, & Music are my key interests and I continue to find time for these to wind down
    • Practices – Apart from these I also engage in daily practices such as journalling (10 -15 mins) and mindfulness meditation (~25-30 mins). I try to be as diligent & regular as possible with these daily practices
  5. Relationships
    • Spouse – If only I were to rank everything I’m grateful for, my spouse would be No.1 on that list. It doesn’t mean we don’t have our off days or that everything is perfect, she has made me a much better human being than who I was. I still fall in love with her everyday (in spite of sounding cliched). After more than 10 years of being together, I agree with my good friend Allen that perfect, symbiotic and loving relationships just don’t happen, they are built. We continue to build ours every day.
    • Family – The indelible impact of our parents on us is immeasurable and not quite easy to understand. It works in very subtle and unconscious forms. I’m glad to have had “good enough” parents (first coined by Donald Winnicott, and popularized by Alain de Botton), who still impress me with their unconditional love and support. My brother, who is mysterious at times, keeps reminding me of how different and similar we all are, due to the diverse environments we grow up in and because of the ever-growing impact of social media in our lives.
    • Friends – Friends play a vital role in my life. They help me understand that pain is inevitable, but suffering isn’t. By sharing their vulnerabilities and amazing me with their deeds and resilient spirit, they prove to me that we are all in some way on the same boat towards a better life.

Light Watkins once suggested how in all the funeral services that he has attended, people always recall the small things that the person did for them instead of their biggest achievements. Using the same analogy, a huge bank balance, astounding fame, and never ending pursuits of dopamine highs (the so-called big things) feel pointless in comparison to the pursuit of meaning, happiness and inner peace in every day life (the small/simple things).

Writing this article helped me look closely at the things I already have. In a way, it pushed me to step away from my inherent negativity bias and look at what’s good in my life already. In case you are here till the end, I recommend you to write a similar article for yourself. I promise you will be a better human after finishing that!

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